Competing Devotions of Motherhood & Life

Before you have children, chances are there was something that lit up your life. Something that you loved doing. It was the main topic inside your mind most of the time. Maybe it was a job, maybe it was a business or even an idea of a business. Maybe it was travel, adventure, parties and socialising. Maybe it was a person or a place.

Then the little ones come along. All of a sudden your mind is completely taken over with the obsession of your kids. You want to be with them, witness all of their milestones, make sure they are learning and developing as they should be. You don't want to miss any smile or giggle, any bed time or first cuddle in the morning.

It might be an instant thing or it might be something that creeps back in once your children begin to grow out of the baby phase, and you find yourself with a little more time to focus on yourself: but the natural pull that you feel toward your children as well as the pull toward business work or hobbies can lead to something we call in Mama Rising Facilitation - Competing Devotions.

For example, If you’re a mother who also loves her work—whether you’re running your own business or deeply invested in your career—you’ll know this feeling well. It’s the quiet tug-of-war between your devotion to your family and your devotion to something else that lights you up.

Balancing Passion and Parenthood

You have a genuine passion for your work, striving to excel in your career or even dreaming of launching your own business. The thrill of new ideas and strategies keeps you awake at night, fueling your confidence as you pursue the thing that lights you up. But when it's time to head to work or dedicate moments to your business or hobby, the guilt creeps in. You can't help but worry about missing precious moments with your children. What if you miss a milestone? What if they think you prefer your work over spending time with them? What if they end up in years of therapy to deal with the childhood trauma of feeling neglected by a mum that was at work. What if they start preferring Dad or calling the babysitter "MUMMY!" The mental spiralling can be unbearable.

This internal drama becomes even more intense when you work seasonally, as many of us do in places like Ibiza. Winters can feel like a gentle, slow exhale—more time at home, more space to be fully present for your kids. You feel like you are winning at life, no stress, being available and present for every pick up and drop off. Playdates and chilled afternoons spent with the children and friends. Then summer arrives, and with it, the rush. Work floods in, the pace quickens, and you can almost feel the minutes with your family slipping through your fingers.

You love your work. It gives you purpose, connection, and a piece of yourself that isn’t “just mum.” The return of the working summer means the bank balance grows and any financial strains begin to disappear. The buzz of being back to work and doing something you are truly good at. Something you are in control of and you are certain you are doing well. It feels good. Yet the ache of missing out on those moments with the children really stings. Seeing photos of the family day out while you are working can feel like a slap n the face, and you are gutted that you aren't there sharing in every last second.

In these moments, it can feel like your heart is split in two—one half pulled by your business dreams, the other by your children’s laughter. There’s no easy solution or perfect balance (and let’s be honest, the idea of a perfectly balanced work vs home life is simply a load of BS!) But I feel like this is an opportunity to accept that motherhood is full of these contradictions. You can be devoted to both your family and your work. But there has to be give and take. You have to be able to separate the two and prioritise from moment to moment.

You can thrive in the energy of your work in the summer while still finding ways to be present for your kids. And when winter comes around again, you can sink back into those slower days, reconnecting and recharging. Everyone has different situations, and we are all doing the very best we can with what we have got.

So try not to guilt yourself out too much. Try to enjoy your time, whichever devotion you are focusing on in that moment. But do try to make your decision & stick to it. If you are working - be at work- enjoy it and be great at it. If you are with your kids, focus on them, not your phone or emails. Be in the moment and make sure every moment is spent being present.

Competing devotions is a concept that we focus on a lot in Mama Rising Facilitation. If you need some guidance to work through feelings arond this topic, feel free to reach out to me. I am a trained Mama Rising Matrescence & Motherhood coach, and I specialise in helping women to rediscover who they are in this season of life. Contact me on info@themothershipibiza.com.

Louise